Monday, February 28, 2011

LIFE'S LESSONS

I don't know what else to call this blog.  My heart feels heavy and the tears of empathy want to flow.  Would you like to know why I'm feeling this way?  Good.  Because I need to write so that I can explain it all to myself.

We moved down here from Yellowknife in 1993, after living out of province for a good number of years.  Our youngest daughter, Holly Ann and her two sons, Jared and Robert followed us home about a year later.  You're probably wondering why I'm giving all this information.  If you've read my last couple of posts you know about Holly Ann and her kids having to move their trailer to a new location.  Well, they lived in that trailer park for about ten years and of course they made many friends.
     One of those friends was Chris and her family.  Chris became one of Holly Ann's best friends and she is , also, close to Chris's children.  Chris's youngest son has two boys just about Robert's age.  The eldest boy and Robert and Cole called themselves the Three Musketeers because they got along so well.  Those boys travelled everywhere with Robert.  When we had birthday parties for Robert aboard our boat, Chris, Al, Sammy Jr., Heather and their two boys came along.  We had so much fun!  Those were the good old days that we can look back on with pleasant thoughts.

Life went along like that for quite awhile, but slowly we began to lose those we love.  First Al, Sammy Sr. and Chris.  We never ever thought that we would lose one of the youngsters.  A few days ago we learned that Sammy & Heather's oldest boy was having health problems.  His uncle Jerry brought the news to the Drumming Group and we have all been praying for him ever since.  Then - we were told that he has some rare form of cancer that has already moved to the 4th stage.  Our hearts were very heavy.  We will continue to pray for him because the Creator does perform many miracles.   
    
We have a family dinner every Sunday.  It gives us a chance to catch up on what's happening in each other's lives.  Holly Ann told every one about the young man with the cancer.  Robert was very moved by that news because this is his friend he's hearing about.  He said, "That's harsh."  I don't think he trusted himself to speak further at that time.  We discussed what we could/should do.  Robert said, "I'd like to go and see him while he is still alive."  Holly Ann agreed.  We all agreed that that was the best thing to do.

They went over today.  The young man is taking this tragedy very well.  He knows he is going to die very soon, and he seems to be at peace with that.  His younger brother is all mixed up with feelings of guilt and remorse.  I believe he said something like, "I don't know what to do.  I always fought with my brother.  I never thought he would die so soon.  I don't know what to do." I hope they will get someone to work with him through the grieving process.
    That's not the only bad luck that has touched that family's life.  Just a few days ago, the mother of the boy was spending all the time she could with her son.  Her own mother was feeling ill and Heather hadn't went to see her for a couple of days.  She asked her sister-in-law to stop in to check on her.  She did.  What she found was the women had died in the last couple of days.  That has to be weighing heavily on Heather, but there was nothing she could have done to prevent it.  I wish her to know that and not carry around a load of useless guilt.  The grandmother probably went ahead to prepare the way for her grandson. He will not be lonesome over there; he will have both of his grandmothers there with him.
   It's difficult to find something good about this type of news.  Perhaps the Creator is sending a message to all of us to let us know that the only thing we have is today.  There is no promise of tomorrow.  Now I know why my dad told me to plan your life like you're going to live forever, and live it like you're going to die today.  If we do that we will have far less stress and remorse to deal with.
Before I close this, I feel that I should say that I have the utmost respect for the young man's aunt Rocky, who is there at all times helping to make things better for him.  In fact, she's always there whenever a family member or friend needs her.  She is a wonderful human being and a good role model for the rest of  us.  I hope I have not offended anyone with this post, because that was not my intention.

2 comments:

  1. It is a bitter pill to take, to loose our children before we pass on ourselves especially to cancer So many have been taken from us already by this silent killer I am so sorry for the loss of those taken and for those of us who are left behind It is a good thing you are doing mother, sharing your feelings,not many have the courage to do this

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  2. Aunt Barb i love you .God be with you in surgery today and through out your life and i pray you heal with sonic speed.you rock! love julie xoxoxo(blondie)

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