Sunday, March 20, 2011

2005, RIGHT HIP OPERATION

This is what happened during the first hip operation in 2005.
I think I had a secret death-wish; I wanted to join my Poopsie and get on with the next phase of existence.
I was told a multitude of times that my heart was in a very weakened condition and that there was a very real chance that I would not come through the operation.  I ignored all that and went ahead with it anyway.  I didn't tell my family what the doctors and technicians were saying.

I had my right hip replaced in April of 2005.  The docs thought my heart was too weak that time, too.  They kept telling me that there were no guarantees that I would wake up after being put under.  I didn’t feel that there would be any problem
They warned me again as they were administering a sedative before going into surgery.
Ø      This is how the rest of the tale shaped up.
Ø      I was on a stretcher outside of the operating room waiting.  I thought about what they had said.  I talked to the Creator.  “Creator, I don’t think they expect me to live through this operation.  I feel that all will be okay, but just in case they are right and I am wrong   I think you should let me die while I’m out here, than no one would have a guilty conscience about allowing me to die on their shift.  I’m ready to die now Creator.”
Ø      The Creator refused me entrance into the next stage of existence.
Ø      All those associated with the surgery were in the operating room discussing my best options.  The head nurse was sitting beside me.  She asked if I had any concerns.  I thought about it.  Then I related the tales I’d heard about patients coming through their operations with flying colors only to be struck down a week or two later with major infections, or something similar.  In all cases it was discovered that those who had carried out the operation had left something foreign inside the patient, causing the infection.  I said I wanted everything to be used in the operation counted before and after the completion of the surgery.  She pointed at a couple of nurses off to the side and said, “Listen.”  The nurses were dutifully counting all implements to be used.  I felt much better.
Ø      The doc and the guy administering the stuff for pain came over and told me that because of the condition of my heart they thought they should use a spinal tap.  They asked my opinion.  I told them that I’d never heard anything good about spinal taps.  We decided on a spinal tap after much discussion.
Ø      I was still sitting on the stretcher-like bench when it was administered.
Ø      My right hip had caused me to drag it around, but it was nearly pain-free.
Ø      That first needle nearly floored me it hurt so badly, and I can handle a lot of pain.
Ø      I nearly passed out.  I’d closed my eyes trying to gain control over myself.
Ø      I opened my eyes and standing about four feet in front of me was a man about 5 ft. 6  or 8 ins. Tall.  He was dressed in a tan colored  poncho with a hood.  He glided right up in front of me and the pain left.
Ø      I thought they said B.C. Medical was having serious financial problems and here they have a sensitive in the operating room.   I recall feeling very well looked after.
Ø      I leaned my head towards him and the pain left.  You big wimp.  You can do better than that.   I pulled my head back and sat up straight again.  He glided back to his original position.
Ø      The doctor gave me another prick with a needle and the pain was tremendous.  I recall letting my breath out very loudly.  The man in the poncho glided forward again, and as I leaned towards him the pain diminished.  Again I withdrew – thinking that I was being a cry baby.  I was ashamed of myself.  I sat up as straight as I could again, and he withdrew.
Ø      The doctor gave me another poke and it hurt so much I leaned towards the poncho ed form.  He came forward and I leaned my head right into his chest.  It seemed like my head just kept going forward until I knew no pain.  Each time he’d came close, he said without speaking,  that it was alright to release my pain to him.  He would look after me.  After that I have no knowledge of what transpired.
Ø      The second day of recovery one of the nurses came and asked me who I was talking to in the operating room.  I told her that I was talking to the sensitive.
Ø      She asked, “What’s a sensitive?”
Ø      To which I answered, “Why, the person B.C. Med sent in to absorb pain.”
Ø      She said there was no such person.  So I told her the same thing I have just written above and she said that it had sounded like I was having a conversation with someone.  She said that after I spoke, I stopped to listen to someone answering.
Ø      I still thought it was a sensitive on the B.C. Med’s payroll until my friend, Lynna came to visit and I related the same tale to her.  She said, ‘B.C. Med would never have sense enough to have a sensitive on payroll.  It sounds to me like it was a spirit  looking out for you.
Ø      After I gave it much thought, I had to agree.  I guess I didn’t think I was important enough for the Creator to send one of his helpers to look out for me.  Thank you, Creator.
So, you understand why so many people were concerned about my having this  second operation.
I had put-it-on-the-wind, which is my way of commuting with the Creator when I need a real solid answer.
This second hip was painful all the time, until I went to a Chinese acupuncture person and she made the pain go away.  I also worked with a Japanese acupuncture and moxie bustion doctor who performed marvels for me.  They strengthened my heart and I lived without pain for four months.  I began to think I didn't need to have the surgery.  That's when I put-it-on-the-wind.  I asked that the Creator let me know in no uncertain terms whether I should undergo the surgery. I even gave a deadline for the answer which was February 21, 2011. One should never ask for something unless they are prepared to live with the outcome.  Pain -  like I have never experienced before hammered at my body, even my head and my eyes ached.  It was horrible, but I knew that I was supposed to have the operation and I had no doubts about it.  I knew I would live through it. I had the operation on March 9,2011.
During this operation there were no spirits to help of guide me (at least none that I could see).
Holly Ann stayed with me until it was time to be moved to the operating room.  It took from 9:30 AM to 12:30 PM for everything to be brought up to operation standards.
When we were finally in the operating room preparing for the surgery the man handling the medication made reference to the first operation and the difficulty they had in administering the spinal tap.  He asked how I felt about it and I told him that I would work with him and it would be alright.  There were about 6 people in the operating room.  The doctor said we were ready.  I said, "Except for one last thing.  I talked to the Creator about this operation and that's why I am here.  I want to speak to him before we begin."   One of the technicians said, "Oh, Mrs. Higgins don't be afraid, you're in good hands."  I answered.  "I know that.  I just want to acknowledge the Creator and thank him for having all the right people here in this room at this moment."  They made a loose circle around me and I made my prayer and felt much better for it.
MEANWHILE
Down at the entrance of the hospital Holly Ann is trying to get permission to sing the Woman's Warrior Song for me.  They wouldn't allow it.  One of the Volunteers, an East Indian man we've come to recognize over the years was appalled.  He said something like this, Oh, this is bad!  Her mama, who is a Coast Salish Elder is having an operation and they won't allow her to sing for her.  This is their land.  It's not right.  He went off to the Administrator and came back with him.  We don't know what he said, but they allowed Holly Ann to sing the Woman's Warrior Song to give me strength and hope.
So, you see, it takes many people working in all kinds of places to make the right sort of things happen. I know the heavens were bombarded with the prayers and white light that was offered on my behalf.  I am humbled.   I believe the Creator was pleased with the outcome of that day.  What do you think?

Saturday, March 19, 2011

HOPE, HEALING, HURT, TEARS of HUMBLENESS, FAITH + ACCEPTANCE

I'm sitting at my computer with no real idea about what I shall write. I just know that I must write.  My heart is filled to over-flowing . My  tears - dripping from  my chin.  A huge feeling of humbleness and thanks giving seems to come welling up from the core of my being. I am so blessed to have such a family and nuclear family that make up my life.  I don't know how anybody could survive without such a back-up system.

I'm going to write about the things that have been happening over the past couple of weeks.  As you know, I was scheduled to have surgery on my left hip on April 8, 2010, but the  internal specialist cancelled my operation date because (in his view) my heart was too weak and I probably wouldn't live through the surgery.  I told him that he didn't know me, but he wouldn't be swayed.  So, I waited another year, dragging myself around with chronic pain that lasted 24X7 and didn't know how to let up.  After awhile your brain begins to shut down, even though you aren't really aware of it until the pain has subsided. As it has now.

AS USUAL, when I tell you about something there are always previous happenings that lead up to it.
I will try to take it easy on you and make my posts a little shorter.  Of course, there may be more of them to read.  Sorry.

I've  already told you about my Poopsie crossing over The River of Hope that  the Creator has set out for the Sheshalh people.  The promise is that "The last campfire shall not be extinguished nor will the wind cease to give breath to the earth, until the last Sheshalh person has joined the ancestors beside the campfire of their father.
To try to absolve the pain of loss I was looking around for a way to skirt it or circumvent it. I didn't want to face it, to admit that my Poopsie was gone from this life.  I was like an ostrich burying its head in the sand -attempting to deny what was.   I know now that that was a cowardly thing to do.  But I had to learn the lesson for myself.
  • In 2005, I was sitting at my computer and thinking about acting of all things. 
  • My phone rang and it was Lynna.  She asked what I was up to . . .
  •  Short version - 'I was thinking about trying acting.' 
  • She wanted to know where that had come from.  "Just thought I'd like to give it a try.  Can't be too hard.  We're all acting ever day of our lives."
  • She warned me that it wouldn't be easy because Vancouver was really busy  with movies, etc.  She said that I would need an Agent. No one would consider me without one and agents were at a premium.
  • Hmmmmh? I said, "I'll put it on the Wind."  She figured it would take weeks or even months.
  • Not even one week later she called and said I now had an agent.  She was totally surprised, but I figured it was because there weren't too many 72 year old Coast Salish Indian woman out there looking for an opportunity.  (?)  Who knows, right?
  • She got me an interview to show them how I could do my stuff. Smile.
  • Long story short.  The play was about a whole lot of young women that had been murdered.  Most were young, beautiful and and some  were hookers.
  • I went for my interview and this is what took place.
  • I stepped into a dimly lit room that had a place to stand with a coach behind me.  Quite a number of bright lights focused on me, There was some guy sitting off to the left in the shadows and about 8 or 9 other individuals sitting in the semi-darkness. 
  • They were the panel that were going to rate my performance.
  • I peered into the darkness attempting to make eye-contact with each one.
  • The guy on the left said, "I note from your resume' that you have never  acted in a movie before?" 
  • I told him I was an instructor and had 'put on' many plays so I didn't think it would be too difficult.
  • He cast a quick  glance at the people in the shadows and they sort of tittered at my audacity.
  • He said, "What made you want to try out for this particular play?"
  • Awww, hell.  I may as well throw caution to the wind.  In reality, I  was there to try out for the part of an elderly Indian woman, a real grandma type.
  • I answered, "Well, I've never had the opportunity to play the part of a prostitute before and I thought it was a challenge I'd like to try."  I didn't crack a smile.  I looked right at him and then slowly rotated to take the whole panel into the picture. 
  • He was shocked out of his socks.  They all were.  They expected me to talk about the grandma role.
  • They made a quick decision and ran me through the lines of my script.  It went pretty darn good, I think they were impressed.
  • He said that they'd let me know within the week about the part.
  • I left and went to find Holly Ann.  We got a coffee and were still sitting there drinking it when they delivered a message stating that the part was mine.  I signed contracts and we did the play over the next two or three months.  My part was very small.
  • The beautiful young actresses would come over to me after they had done their acting parts and apologize for the language they used.  They usually said something like, "I'm really not like that and I don't use that sort of language. Please don't think badly of me."
  • They cared about what I may think of them, so I guess I fulfilled the grandma role.
  • I didn't get to Vancouver when the movie was debuting because of my hip.  I have never even seen the movie, although others on Band Lands have.  They said it was okay. Actually, I was surprised when they came by to tell me they'd seen the movie and that I'd done a good job.  I had never told anyone about that episode of my life.  I figured that just Holly Ann's family and Lynna's family knew about it.
  •   The bottom line is -  I realized that I was trying to avoid Life.  One can not do that forever.  One has to stop and face what ever is gaining on them, look it directly in the eye, boot it in the butt and send it on its way.  

Friday, March 4, 2011

"I LOVE YOU CHILD"

Whom is this post for?  Why, you, of course.

I just read an email from a dear friend, and it prompted me to write this post.

  • Sometimes, through no fault of their own, a  grandparent, a parent, a spouse, or a child become victims of some mind altering disease or injury.  This doesn't/didn't happen  because they are bad people, because they're not. 
  •  Sometimes it could be from the way they were forced to live in the dirty thirties or some other equally horrid era of their  past. 
  • They are,  in fact,  casualties, and they deserve our love and understanding.
  •  Sometimes we feel as though we could strangle them for their thoughtless, hurtful words and actions. Just remember, it really isn't them speaking or acting out in such a hurtful way.
  •  BUT . . . if we try to put ourselves into the circumstances that formed them, we will truly begin to understand that many of the older people lived from hand-to-mouth on whatever they could scrounge for food. 
  • Anything to fill their stomachs to keep them alive for their children's sake. 
  • They probably gave the best of whatever they had to their growing children
  •  And now, many years later, Time is catching up on them, and those dietary lacks, etc. are forcing their body to act in a way they would never consciously have chosen.
  • This fate didn't happen to me, and I thank the Creator for that, but I want all of you who have a similar version of this in their family to read the following words and imagine that it is the one you love speaking to you.

  • "My child, life has been a long, hard journey at times, but I want you to know that regardless of how tough the times were long ago, I would NEVER change them if it meant that you were not born.  You are my gift to the World.  Remember that, because even with my illness I know that somewhere deep inside of myself I am holding onto that thought.  I love you.  Please take the time to love yourself and the rest of our nuclear family."
  • I hope you don't think I am presumptuous for having written this, but if I were one of the people trapped in that state of affairs, I would be ever so grateful if someone would speak words of encouragement  to those I love on my behalf.
For this post, I will sign the name the Spirits know me by, Xwu'p'a'lich

PS  Sometimes I wonder if there is anyone out there reading my posts.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

LIFE'S LESSONS #2

I couldn't finish my blog yesterday because emotions were running very strong.  I don't usually go around bragging about myself or my family, but I feel that I must acknowledge just how wonderful I think they are.  Holly Ann and Robert have been on the Red Road for only a short span of time.  Perhaps one or two years.  Both of them are acceptable drummers and they both have wonderful  singing voices.  Neither one of them is afraid to speak or sing in public which I think is great.
When they went to visit the young man yesterday they brought their drums with them with the intention of using them to bring joy to all those who were heavy hearted.  They sang for the family  at the hospital.  Then they went to the home of one of the people and cleansed it with sage from top to bottom.  Holly Ann walked through the house, using a feather to   fan the sacred smoke in all directions, while Robert followed behind singing good words to the Creator and the spirits.

When they left the house they placed a box that we prepare with everything for a personal altar.  As I think about it now,  the only thing I forgot to put in the box was directions on how to use it.   I guess I took it for granted that every body in the world knew how to use it.  When they were waiting in line for the ferry at Horseshoe Bay, the phone rang and it was Rocky calling to thank them for cleansing her house. Then she asked about the box with the altar pieces in it.  Holly Ann proceeded to explain how they were used, etc.  Robert was prompting from the background so she passed the phone to him and told him to continue.  He didn't miss a beat.  He proceeded to walk his friend through the steps.  When Holly Ann told me about all they had done I was so proud that I nearly popped a button on my shirt.  Smile.  I just thought everyone should know about this because they are learning to do important, needed work that helps settle people's spirit.  Thank you family, I'm proud of you.

Monday, February 28, 2011

LIFE'S LESSONS

I don't know what else to call this blog.  My heart feels heavy and the tears of empathy want to flow.  Would you like to know why I'm feeling this way?  Good.  Because I need to write so that I can explain it all to myself.

We moved down here from Yellowknife in 1993, after living out of province for a good number of years.  Our youngest daughter, Holly Ann and her two sons, Jared and Robert followed us home about a year later.  You're probably wondering why I'm giving all this information.  If you've read my last couple of posts you know about Holly Ann and her kids having to move their trailer to a new location.  Well, they lived in that trailer park for about ten years and of course they made many friends.
     One of those friends was Chris and her family.  Chris became one of Holly Ann's best friends and she is , also, close to Chris's children.  Chris's youngest son has two boys just about Robert's age.  The eldest boy and Robert and Cole called themselves the Three Musketeers because they got along so well.  Those boys travelled everywhere with Robert.  When we had birthday parties for Robert aboard our boat, Chris, Al, Sammy Jr., Heather and their two boys came along.  We had so much fun!  Those were the good old days that we can look back on with pleasant thoughts.

Life went along like that for quite awhile, but slowly we began to lose those we love.  First Al, Sammy Sr. and Chris.  We never ever thought that we would lose one of the youngsters.  A few days ago we learned that Sammy & Heather's oldest boy was having health problems.  His uncle Jerry brought the news to the Drumming Group and we have all been praying for him ever since.  Then - we were told that he has some rare form of cancer that has already moved to the 4th stage.  Our hearts were very heavy.  We will continue to pray for him because the Creator does perform many miracles.   
    
We have a family dinner every Sunday.  It gives us a chance to catch up on what's happening in each other's lives.  Holly Ann told every one about the young man with the cancer.  Robert was very moved by that news because this is his friend he's hearing about.  He said, "That's harsh."  I don't think he trusted himself to speak further at that time.  We discussed what we could/should do.  Robert said, "I'd like to go and see him while he is still alive."  Holly Ann agreed.  We all agreed that that was the best thing to do.

They went over today.  The young man is taking this tragedy very well.  He knows he is going to die very soon, and he seems to be at peace with that.  His younger brother is all mixed up with feelings of guilt and remorse.  I believe he said something like, "I don't know what to do.  I always fought with my brother.  I never thought he would die so soon.  I don't know what to do." I hope they will get someone to work with him through the grieving process.
    That's not the only bad luck that has touched that family's life.  Just a few days ago, the mother of the boy was spending all the time she could with her son.  Her own mother was feeling ill and Heather hadn't went to see her for a couple of days.  She asked her sister-in-law to stop in to check on her.  She did.  What she found was the women had died in the last couple of days.  That has to be weighing heavily on Heather, but there was nothing she could have done to prevent it.  I wish her to know that and not carry around a load of useless guilt.  The grandmother probably went ahead to prepare the way for her grandson. He will not be lonesome over there; he will have both of his grandmothers there with him.
   It's difficult to find something good about this type of news.  Perhaps the Creator is sending a message to all of us to let us know that the only thing we have is today.  There is no promise of tomorrow.  Now I know why my dad told me to plan your life like you're going to live forever, and live it like you're going to die today.  If we do that we will have far less stress and remorse to deal with.
Before I close this, I feel that I should say that I have the utmost respect for the young man's aunt Rocky, who is there at all times helping to make things better for him.  In fact, she's always there whenever a family member or friend needs her.  She is a wonderful human being and a good role model for the rest of  us.  I hope I have not offended anyone with this post, because that was not my intention.

Friday, February 25, 2011

MY NUCLEAR FAMILY IS WORKING ON OUR UP-COMING FUND-RAISER THEY HAVE CALLED THE HOLLY ANN & ROBERT& PARKER HIGGINS' "HELPING HANDS" FUNDRAISER

PHEW!! What a title, huh?  But that is what it is called.  Life is so busy that sometimes it is difficult just to select one thing to talk about.  I will attempt to limit myself. 
You may have noticed the name Parker up there in the title.  He is the son of my son and he is named for his grandfather, Richard, whose nickname used to be "Parky".
Parker is now staying with Holly Ann and Robert.  He is going to be attending school in Sechelt very soon.  He had nowhere else to go, so is the usual Higgins manner, Holly Ann has taken him in.  Sometimes that old saying about putting another tin of water in the soup is too true.

So far, this is what the Event  looks like.  It will be held at the Sechelt Indian Band community hall in Sechelt on March 26, 2011.  That is also my 78th birthday.  Please don't think you have to bring a birthday gift.  Just bring something for the silent auction.

Marlene, who dreamed up this whole event, will over-see the whole shebang, and if you know Marlene, you know she will do a wonderful job.

Justin is in charge of making posters and advertising the event.  Way to go, Justin!

Jared, Holly Ann's eldest son,  is in charge of the kitchen.  He will require helpers, so please sign up right away.  There will be food of course, both traditional and other.  There will be a bake sale, so buy lots and freeze them for your lunches over the next few weeks. 

There will be Drumming and Singing; and hopefully, some dancing. You won't want to miss this!!

Temahtahnah will be telling Kid's Stories, for kids of all ages.

Barb will be telling a couple of her Elder Tales.  Come out and laugh and cry along with us.

There will be a 50/50 draw managed by Cindy lee.

Hannah will look after Silent Auction.

Jan has donated two fabulous wooden bowls crafted from wood from the Sunshine Coast.  They are wonderful.

Ed has donated one of his framed prints. 

Joah is canvassing for items for the Silent Auction, so come on folks, dig down.

Denise is baking up a Storm for the bake sale; she could use lots of help, guys.

There will be a humongous Raffle -these are just a few of the prizes so far.  There is a beautifully crafted traditional Red Cedar Hat, a Beaded Purse that is a marvelous creation, A hand painted 20 inch  drum by the portrait artist Olivia Candelle. The picture on the drum is Barb's canoe The S-yewens Ihems Sila ( which means the Spirits of our Grandmothers).  There a huge mysterious, shamanistic oil painting of the Indian stories that are up there for all to behold.( If you know what to look for.) 
That's all for to-night, folks.  Pleasant dreams.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

MY HEART IS FULL

I am writing this because I could think of no other way to portray the feeling of humility I experienced yesterday.  Jim and Judi White, two of my dear  friends, hosted a healing circle for me, to bolster my spirit for my up-coming surgery.   It was held in the usual Indian tradition, with gifted medicine people and helpers, and well-wishers that took part at every step of the way.  It also  means it was a pot-luck affair with everyone contributing towards the whole.  The dinner was delicious, and the feeling of camaraderie was touching and gratefully received by this woman.

I was actually astounded to see the number of people who attended this ceremony.  Many of them travelled from Vancouver to attend, and the underlying message from all was - Accept the strength of the Creator, and accept our wishes of good will and a return to good health.  They gave me symbolic icons of the strength, good will, love, respect, and a quick return to the front line for the  on-going battle between darkness and light.  Which is another way of saying we are backing the good guys and hoping that the others will turn over a new leaf and join us.

If I could have addressed them  before they dispersed, this is what I would have said. 

A HEARTFELT MESSAGE FOR  THE MEMBERS OF MY NUCLEAR FAMILY.        February 12, 2011

            My heart is full.  The bird that resides in my chest is singing so loudly that I believe you must be able to hear it.  Can you hear it?   Tears are close to the surface of my eyes but I withhold them because I want everyone to be happy.  I believe that  the bird  is my connection to the Creator, and regardless of what is happening in the world around me, if the bird is singing, it is His promise that everything is A-okay.
            I wish to thank every one of you for coming out to make this a splendid day, and I want to thank Jim & Judi White for hosting this Circle.  Thank you to Seis lom, Wes Nahanee, Robrt Higgins, Leslie, for the medicine and to the drummers and singers for filling our hearts with thanksgiving and love.  I feel that that is exactly what you did yesterday, and we all needed it and appreciate it.
            When I look around the room, and take note of all you people who have my best interests at heart, I acknowledge what a prosperous woman I am.  Perhaps I cannot pile up millions of dollars of this world’ wealth, but that is only because I have something much more precious.  I have friends and family who respect me and the feeling is mutual.  I sense, that together, we can do astronomical things here on the Sunshine Coast.  The time is now.
            Many things have lead up to this day;  A day that is going to fuse and forge us together in a manner that will be of benefit to all the people of the Sunshine Coast.  As previously stated, when I look around and perceive the caliber of people who are here in this room, I have great hope for the future.   Perhaps, I am prophesying.  Together we are strong.  Together we will build a firm foundation upon which future generations can build.   The only thing required for success is lots of people- taking small steps -that will advance the good deeds and good works we are all performing in the name of light.  It’s time for every last one of us to stand back-to-back and force the darkness and bad actions into oblivion.
            We can do it.  We just have to be consistent and leave nothing to chance.
These are a few of the items that we are presently working at.  Some of these things are crucial to the well-being of every person of the Coast. As Seis lom, our Elder, has stated it is our responsibility to look to the welfare of humanity, the winged people, the four-leggeds and the swimmers.  That takes in aspects of all forms of life as we know it here on Mother Earth, doesn't it?  As members of various groups. we are all working on one or all of the following projects.
1.                  The Chapman Creek Watershed and the stand of ancient yellow cedar trees that are presently ensuring that the water is retained up there. We must protect it and never allow it to be logged.
2.                  The Red Cedar Hat making project.  If you sign up right away, Teah mah tah nah will take over the teaching.  I am still unable to do this myself, and I have complete confidence in Te. I can just see our pullers all sporting a hat, traditional or otherwise.
3.                  The Helping Hands for Holly Ann & Robert Higgins.  A moving fundraiser. This is being sponsored by people from many walks of life. And we are seeking volunteer-help and contributions for auctions, raffles, you name it. I have no idea how much is needed for this, but it is more than they are able to come up with on their own.
4.                  The Pulling Together 2011, journey to the West Coast of Vancouver Island. We require about $3000 for that venture.

I’m wondering if we can join a few of these events together ?  If we did that it  would expand our base of volunteers and we would be able to cover more ground.   It’s just a thought.  The decision isn't mine.  Tell me what you think of this?

And last of all I bring up my upcoming surgery which is to take place on March 9.  I have Put-it-on-the-Wind to see what the Creator has to say about it.  I have felt from the beginning that I wasn’t going to require an operation on my left hip.  To me, that meant that the Creator was going to fix it.  He still may do just that.  I have put off the decision for surgery until after February 21st when I have that hip x-rayed.  Perhaps it will show that there is no need for surgery, but if it doesn’t. I will proceed with the surgery.  If it means that I shall soon walk with the spirits, so be it.  Then I will get on with the next phase of existence. I ask that you intervene on my behalf for this miracle I am requesting and expecting.
I guess that’s all for now
I’m pleased to have this wonderful memory to hold onto. 
Ul numsh Chalap,  Xwu’p’a’lich Barb Higgins